THE SECRET MACHINES AT THE WILTERN

 i just saw Mario.
SUPER-Mario?!

Hey, you, wanna pop tart?
Sure!

Audrey...The scotties on your pants are happy....

BRANDON SMILED AT US!

Creepy waiter men staring at us.

Casey and Janice...our new friends at the Wiltern.

It's an army of Henrys, and they're all wearing American Eagle and Ecko Red!

They carry diseases...
Chinese immigrants????
No, turtles.

Swedish Sex with Carl - Goats and cheese.
You grate the goat over the cheese, ya!

Pictures to come, but here's the story of our concert:

So I got to Emma's house and we hung out and listened to TSM and looked at pictures of fat cats until Audrey got there (at 4:30) and we left soon after. When we got there, we were half an hour early for the opening of the doors (or so we thought). So we waited on the streets of Wilshire (had our encounters with plenty of homeless people, most of whom we gave money or bags of food to - more on this later) until 6:00. We went up to the ticket booth and asked when the doors were opening, and then said 7:00. So, we got back and waited for another hour, playing the "I've Never" game and eating tons of altoids. But we all got hungry, so we decided to walk across the street to Savon. On our way, Emma saw a potato in the street, that nobody else seemed to notice. We got to the doors of the Pharmacy, and they were locked. But we couldn't see any other doors in sight, and Audrey saw people in there, so she knocked on the glass and said "Hey, how'd you get in there?!" But, of course, they did not hear us. So we wasted another 5 minutes looking for the door, until we found it, and felt very stupid. We got in, and bought lots of food that would set us for the concert: Cinnamon Pop Tarts, Milk & Cereal Bars, Heath Bars, a huge bottle of water, deoderant and Scotty Pants (for $5 - so I'm totally investing in Savon for my clothing from now on.)

So, finally the line started moving, so we got up to the doors, and of course, they let Emma in, but Audrey and I were carrying food, so they told us to step aside. Apprently there was no food allowed in there. We thought of throwing it away, but we had already spent money on it, and we figured SOMEBODY would want it. It was very good. So then we remembered encountering a man who was homeless and he was right down the street singing for some money. (We had already given him what we had). So we went back up to him and we offered him the bag, which he graciously accepted, and we had committed our righteous move of the day.

Then, we got in and stood RIGHT in front of the speakers. I mean, we were closest to the speakers out of anyone in the room. Surprisingly, none of us ended up going deaf, and my own hearing wasn't impaired (because my Dad plays his music that loudly anyway). So we got bored and sat around for a bit (scoping out hotties) until the Shout Out Louds started to play, and they were AMAZING. We really really wanted the girl's dress (I won't even try to spell her name). Anyway, they performed so fabulously and Carl was, of course, looking gorgeous, (and wearing suspenders!). So, when they got offstage, we were waiting for about an hour in anticipation for TSM to get on the stage. Audrey spotted a hot roadie's (sp?) ass, so we marveled for a bit, while waiting for them to HURRY THE FUCK UP AND LET THE SECRET MACHINES ON THE STAGE.

Finally, they got on, and we were screaming incredibly loudly. They started off with Sad and Lonely (which was AMAZING!!!!!!!) and if I remember correctly, then they played Nowhere Again (Which was ALSO incredible). And at one point they did these INCREDIBLE performances of Road Leads Where It's Led and Pharoh's Daughter, and they played this AMAZING German song that I LOVE, and some GREAT new songs from their new album. Anywayyyy, we were screaming SO loudly for Ben/Brandon that Brandon turned around and SMILED AT US. Yes, SMILED. HE SMILED AT US. HE SMILED. AT. US. We also yelled "WE LOVE YOU BEN!" and "WE LOVE YOU BRANDON!" and random intervals, and sometimes when it was quiet enough so that I'm pretty sure they could hear us. (Emma also yelled "WE LOVE YOU JOSH!" because she felt bad. XD)

I got some INCREDIBLE pictures of the band playing, and since we were right up next to the keyboard, I got some great ones of Brandon. There are wonderful ones of Ben playing the guitar ORGASMICALLY. But, anyway, all in all, they were SO. FUCKIN'. AWESOME. We were screaming so loudly for the band and squealing so constantly that I'm sure we left some sort of mark. ;)

After the fuckin' amazing performance, we were very sad that it was over, but we figured nothing could top what we had just seen, (plus we were tired) so we decided not to see Kings of Leon. Anyway, we wandered around for a bit trying to find the band (certain bystanders were very unhelpful) but later we found out that we'd missed them and they'd already left. Anyway, while we were trying to find the band, we stumbled across a girl named Janice who was sitting next to these random TVs in the middle of the hallway of the Wiltern, and a fridge. She said she worked in Advertising, so we sat around and talked with her for a bit and told her our names, and made a very nice friend, but then we had to go look for TSM. So we said goodbye, and headed on our way, through an ally which smelled CHOKINGLY of weed (just like the concert, and just like Beck).

We came back and walked around, and found a very nice air-conditioned waiting room thing with CHAIRS! So we sat around and talked to an old man, but then we saw that the room next to us had water! So we kindly asked the woman at the desk if we could have some, and she said yes, so we sat down and drank, and told her about our concert experience. She was very nice, so we stuck around and Audrey said, "I'm looking to buy a T-shirt, but I have no money. Do you have any ideas?" Hahaha, sadly, she didn't. But we still stayed and made friends with this girl (who we later found out was named Casey).

Unfortunately, then we had to go, so we said goodbye to our new friend and headed out with Audrey's mom (then we passed the tour bus!) She took us out for dessert, where we met some really really cool French people, and talked about 70s concerts and had ice cream. At one point, Audrey turned around and noticed a group of waiters, standing around a table behind us, STARING AT US. I mean, blatantly and unceasingly, STARING. It was very odd, because no matter how much eye contact we made, (we even took PICTURES) they did not stop. So we started cracking up but had to contain ourselves.

Then we went back to Emma's house and reveled in our experience, and Audrey ate four chicken nuggets, and I ate gummy worms, and then we got into a conversation about Swedish men having Cheese Dicks, and grating goats over cheese, and Swedish Sex, and Ben-Jared-Carl sex. IT was very hot so we couldn't get to sleep for a while, but Audrey and I ended up switching places, and ended up in some very very odd and suggestive positions, but we eventually went to sleep and in the morning, we woke up feeling like SHIT. (Probably because we had eaten so much sugar and we were up so late talking about Swedish sex)

But at least we had the concert experience. :)



All in all........ It fucking rocked.